Bullying is horrible, changes lives, makes prisoners of people, but it is in our nature and trying to stop it becomes merly another form of bullying.
I have been subjected to bullying, a great deal of bullying and I have seen what it does to others, even those who bully, no one comes off scott free.
Having so much experience I have a solution for school bullying where most of it occurs, where bullies are born and bred. This goes completely against the feelings of those close to the oppressed but if you give it a chance the idea may grow.
Bribe the bullies.
Whaaaat?
A friend living nearby has had to move house to another district because of bullying – the cost must be very large in cash, let alone stress but he feels he cannot do anything.
So this is how it works – the child must identify the worst bully, the bully then gets a letter from the parent of the bullied child explaining that their child is most unhappy and really needs someone to look out for her or him, to protect.
In return for this the parent is willing to open a bank account in their name and to make a deposit and then a deposit every other week. If the bully does not do his job he is fined by the parent by a deduction from his or her account. (if he or she agrees)
At the end of lets say a month initially there is a payment – then one every 6 months or so. Regular statements are given.
This is pure protection money (horror)
But properly managed worth every penny – consider moving house???
It also empowers your child – imagine that childs word could lead to the bully loosing money.
If the school gets hold of the arrangement consider how they would look – children being forced to pay protection money??
What would the papers say?
If the parents of the bully get hold of the details and kick up a fuss remind them that this is a business arrangement – in fact the first paid work for the bully, this is what many companies actually do – consider insurance!
One last thing, most bullies have problems of their own, low self esteem being one of them – think of how they would feel if they had someone to look after – maybe (god forbid) you might even make a bully happy. No one is really happy hurting someone else.
I solved the bullying issue by scaring the bullies – very badly. To them it was just a bit of fun, to me it was life and death, the misery caused by another child deliberately, made me want to cease to exist – the only alternative was to fight but not by their rules because they were always bigger and had friends, they never did it on their own. Yes I got bashed and that is something a child should never have to undergo least of all daily, it is torture plain and simple.
This is a win win situation at its best its funny. At its worst its revenge plain and simple.
I came from tiny Norway to ununderstandable uk. It just didnt compute.
First of all my father was a war hero – nobody was interested – he did this, he did that – i did this, i did that – nobody was interested – its called SHOWING OFF.
A very major crime in many books. I was treated accordingly.
That didnt make me stop, it just made me Angry. Especially because of the punishments from the teachers and the bullying from the other pupils, though both learnt before too long the keep their distance and the enlightened – just to enjoy.
Now that really interests me because we are supposed to just sit there, are we?
I love hearing peoples stories – what they get up to – what they do and so comes the joy of stories.
Actually my Father is a war hero – he was part of a secret organisation during the second world war and was a regional leader – he had over 90 agents throughout the war and not one was caught. He was engaged in a far more powerful war that the regular war heroes – that of information.
This idea that one must not blow ones own trumpet follows me to this day – i am 70.
And still i say FUCK YOU.
It is actually a type of bullying.
So what do i do about it?
Ive tried blowing my own trumpet here but even though its business it doesent go down well – there are 2 ways of advertising your business – ahaaa actually 3.
Word of mouth
Advertising in media
Doing.
One of my works is hand copy turning – in the uk there were not many of us but we earnt well and were very respected because it was magic.
Essentially you came to me with a knob you wanted copying – or a chair leg , lots of church work, and i made it by eye. Here nobody wants to know, principally because they dont understand.
In the uk i worked for all kinds doing that work – that included Freddy Mercury, Vivienne Westwood (jewlery) and more – also local farmers, antique dealers all over the westcountry and other furniture makers.
35 years ago i decided to make a series of spoons meaning something.
Much to my surprise i found that most adults could not understand the concepts. Took me a long time to find out why.
Patterned learning.
Adults though they try to be different are shaped by patterns, they look for patterns in everything, therefore even you get put under this A4 frame.
Even artists – especially artists.
This is such a shame because things dont change because of it. Things remain stative, staid, old, mouldy.
Ive had some sucesses in my local Town – 3 public lectures 1 of them solo. 2 on seaweed trawling and one on teflon (ptfe)
Ive also tended many public events bringing a tent, aquaria and other items for a environment organization – but perhaps it was the brochures on ptfe – or my trying to persuade public bodies to take me more seriously that did it. As a result many turn their back on me –
It hurts.
So ive been conducting a little campaign which involves showing my stuff but in a kind of backwards way.
Recently this has had some sucess with an article on the national news (on the spoons)
But it is not enough so ive been having a “secret” exhibition in the high street.
ITS A FABULOUS JOKE.
All the more so because its totally ABSURD. Doesent follow any of the “rules”.
I havent told anybody about it – its very high quality crafts and its totally unique. Best of all for many what you see is what you get – missing the hidden meaning totally.
Adults dont get the connection between each item but children do. The very serious adults where the exhibition is being held only see fine crafts and totally miss the underlying “text.”
As the display cases are experimental and fulfill many different tasks it serves another purpose as well.
The displays are made out of Perspex 4mm thick.
Its a difficult substance to work in so ive discarded the usual frame and legs with braces in favour of an internal turned structure which includes a facility for possible wall mounting. The legs do not have stretchers so the whole wobbles if you touch it. The legs can be simply pulled out so the whole is entirely portable and free from scrapes caused by bags or smudges from hands. In short they are funnnnnnn.
Much of my earlier life was spent under the thumb of someone else – having to fit in, doing the right thing.
So it was wonderful to leave.
Earn my own living – do my own washing up, fix things on my own.
Unfortunately i was not much good at running my own business – my coullegues earnt 10 times what i did by sweating it out. often i would see them do it – a dining table in one day – sure the edges were a bit rough and the sanding poor but he did it in a day and got the same money that i did – so where did i go wrong?
To be honest i dont think i did, i just followed my own path – got a very good reputation for quality and made a lot of friends.
Never having enough money for a holiday began to get me down a bit – sure i paid all the bills so i could take some time off but its not much fun without money.
i decided to visit some friends in London – decided the best way was to hitch.
Got on to the dual carriageway at Tiverton and stuck my thumb out.
No lifts and it started to rain – after a little i went home and decided to put on my motorbike gear (waterproof) Might as well take the helmet, a biker may stop.
Blimey, got a lift at once.
Bristol 3/4 hour.
Stood in a queue with others on the big roundabout by the last services before the m4, car stops beside me— ME, the window comes down and – “if you want a lift hop in” Well i was at the end of a queue so i mentioned it, the guy said i wont give anybody else a lift so choose. What a quandary, so i got in and off we set.
Took me a while to work out what was going on, and it was to make all the difference to me for the next 15 years.
Many motorists want to give lifts and they need an excuse. Guy standing beside the road in motorbike gear means he is broken down somewhere, that works.
Further proof – my van broke down near to Torquay. I set out to walk to Exeter thumbing – no lifts. Had left something in the van so went back. Standing by the van thumbing – got a lift at once.
I got to meet the most amazing people – rides in lorrys, cars, vans even undercover police vehicles. Bentlys, rangerovers, audis – minis – you name it.
Every so often id get a lift from a motorcycle – they werent so much fun, especially in the rain.
There was only one time i was concerned – hitching again at Bristol a van stopped – wide cage in the back – all seats taken, they wouldnt tell me where they were going and they looked at me as if i was a snack – no way.
The art of hitching is knowing which lifts to refuse – easiest explanation is from the Bristol services(gordano) – this is the m5 – to get to London you need the m4 – there is nowhere to stop at the junction of the 2, and nowhere to hitch either. So you need to know if the driver is going North or east – most at Bristol go North – sometimes they are going off at the first services so you may end up at a desert – the next driver may be going all the way, or even drop you off at a tube station.
One thing however most drivers want is to talk – so for me it was wonderful. I got to hear all sorts of tales – dastardly deeds – wonderful things people had done – even murders as yet officially unsolved.
One guy gave me a lift in a falling to pieces honda – he explained he was undergoing the most horrendous time of his life – he apologized for the state of the car and explained he was a sales director for a very large company and was used to far better, but due to circumstances he had lost nearly everything. he then told me about the circumstances –
Heed been living with 2 separate women for the last 12 years and they had just found out about each other. One wanted revenge. the other really wanted him as after all he had been pleasing both of them for 12 years – no ordinary man that – I said well your choice is clear – pick the one who wants you. “NONOOOO” he exclaimed – “i dont want either of them, i just want to be left alone” Poor lad.
Another lift, similar type of car – he explained to me that he had been a senior social worker.
He had not been sleeping well so his girlfriend and he discussed this – she asked him about his fantasies – one of them was raping her. To be more precise, his dream was of waking up during the night and having sex with her while she was asleep. She said, “if thatl help you sleep, go ahead and try it”
Few days later she complained of feeling sore before getting out of bed. He explained what had happened during the night.
Her response was “i never agreed to that.” Next thing he was arrested for rape. Lost his job the lot.
Dropped off near the m4 one day by a friend id been staying with – bit of a bleak spot.
Standing there for a short while when a car draws up – first one by. Well were going the same way so thats fine.
After a little he says to me “been waiting long?”
“no not really, in fact about 45——”
“What hours”
“nooo, seconds”
Bit of a conversation killer that one.
Another time, i stayed with a gorgeous lady id met on a website for people who considered themselves — a cut above the rest – wow she was fun.
In fact id first met her some 25 years before in the pages of the telegraph sunday supplement.
She was an artist – lovely slim and good fun — we got on like a house on fire but soon enough it was time to leave.
Decided the best bet was to hitch to london and go from there.
First guy stopping was a motorcyclist – rightiho – weaving in and out of the traffic, hanging on for dear life – every time i peeked round his shoulder my head nearly got taken off in the slipstream.
Decided to buy him a coffee and a bun. There was a cafee in a small town so we stopped and partook. The waiter was really great and soon enough we had a warm three way conversation.
Back on the road again, after some 20 minutes i said to him
“did you pay?”
“no”
Ive allways felt guilty about that —-.
I wrote down the best stories – i still have them and one day they may appear here, but for now this is fulfilling the program ive set
Tis funny how seemingly all programs add things which lower creativity on behalf of the writer, with the excuse that it makes things easier
This wordpress program puts a bar right across the script just above what ive written so that i cant see exactly what ive produced – it has all sorts of helpful things on it but nothing on how to make it disappear permanently.
In fact ive used word press a bit and it does not get better.
This program is for developers or those interested in computer programs – not writers.
SNIP FROM HELPFUL WORDPRESS.
But to case – as a design maker i suffer from a tremendous handicap – i never studied design. i never studied furniture making, never went on woodturning or carving courses. I only ever went on one course and that was a commercial 6 month course in wales – woodmachining. TOPS course – earnings related pay and all sorts of perks.
I was not well at the time – i had numerous accidents and was accused of being an alcoholic, as all 6 i shared a house with had serious drink problems but it wasnt that – it was the medication i was taking.
The picture shows part of the woodmachining shop at port talbot, one of my fellow trainees and a map of the area – the road is at cwmavon where my first digs were – and horrible they were too – i got thrown out and moved into a large shared house where i was much happier and the people i was with were fun.
I learnt an awful lot about heavy machinery, how to set them up, make cutters and all sorts of magic.
Every woodworking machine you could think of and then some – the 5 cutter moulding hachine was so big you could get inside – the planer was a 30 inch jobby – the blades were bent due to the sharpening machine so you have to learn how to deal with that – sharpening bandsaw blades – joining them yadi.
After 6 months i was to find a job.
The first was at a place called Shinners mill near Totnes.
It was a toy makers(rogue toys) – fun work but very frustrating.
The boss had studied business at university and therefore didnt have a clue. As a result we could all see disasters building – i went back a couple of times.
He supplied only one company, and that was tridas. Initially it was all kinds of designs but it got narrowed down to about 6. Easy to produce and tridas paid.
The first time i went back he had borrowed a considerable sum and modernized the whole place. Now he could produce the 6 designs far faster.
The next time i visited it was closed.
Some time after i started working for the toy company i had a motorcycle accident.
YAMMY 350 AFTER MY ACCIDENT.
Again due partly to the medication i was taking and partly due to a homicidal semi senile old git who was targeting motorcyclists in Devon. I was initially charged by the police for dangerous driving but they went away.
Some 9 months afterwards he was charged with dangerous driving – he got braver after hospitalising 10 and tried it on a busy industrial estate – someone other than the motorcyclist was a witness.
The last i heard he was in a nursing home with locked doors
ME IN HOSPITAL – 3 MONTHS EXETER RDAND E. (1978)
i wont go into details but the result was that i hobbled out of that hospital with the leg still broken – much to the upset of the hospital staff who i guess had never had such a thing happen before.
I was in my 20s when this happened, my life had hit zero but i had time to think
HOW THE BROKEN LEG LOOKS TODAY
Back to case.
i decided i had to do something worthwhile with my life.
Being another cypher would lead to disaster sooner or later.
I was not designed to live on a housing estate – i could not bear the thought of spending time with semiliterate bigots. I did not enjoy beer, television or popmusic.
Yes id had a very good job for 5 years so i could.
After abandoning hospital i went to work for Exeters largest joinery firm Chancel joinery – then a shopfitters called Watsons (still going strong)
Time to start making.
The business was called THE FOLLOWING MORNING CO.
Strange – came to me as in a dream. The name FUNNY – the morning after? But in reality a sunrise, the start of a new day. And –
My business card was designed by a ancient printers in Okehampton – the boss showed me some woodcuts for printing – some from the mid 1600s. The design of the card and logo were also automatic, just fell into place – the printer asked what i wanted – he drew it and it was right
Business card image
I had no money but a kind aunt suddenly died and left me enough to start.
i was a furniture maker – no skills – no design ability and very little experience. i was hopeless.
But there was work.
Working with a seriously damaged leg was hard, at times the pain was excruciating but i realised that i had succeeded in banishing some of my “ghosts” by taking charge.
Making was a process of copying – everything has been made, most of it everywhere.
The perfect dining chair was perfected by the wartime utility chair – designed by a committee it fulfilled all the requirements, all you had to do was change the non essentials – dining tables, we know what one looks like to make it work – all have basics in common. Work inside those and it will work.
ALL MADE TO A FORMULA – CANT GO WRONG. War time utility chair.
My first chair was — unfortunate.
It was a commode for a lady who had developed Leukemia after being run over by an aquaintance of mine.
Dosent get more bizarre than that, particularly as she was also a friend.
It took very long to make – especially as i lacked the skills and had to learn – on the go, by myself.
One of the first things i learnt about hand tools is to reject most of them.
I went to a large iron mongers to buy new. Nice shiny but ohh my, bent this, bent that – this out of line, beds not flat. But i got a good set.
I had learnt a lot by watching the joiners at watsons – saw setting, chisel sharpening – planing. The joints from the woodmachining course. Being inexperienced i made some very successful mistakes. The oakey drum sander was one.
Nobody takes this seriously – cheap foam drum, breaks easily – yadi I MASTERED IT.
What a tool.
Sometimes its not a question of saving time – its a question of wanting to go to work.
Another mistake was buying cheap electric hand tools – Skil belt sander lasted 13 months and cost £120, makita belt sander (much better tool and easier to use) Cost £320 and lasted for 25 years.
Today we are learning about free choice through free choice – ooh this is not a lesson, this is what is happening in the real world as far as i can see from my limited little window.
WHOOSE?
My life has been hard, some massive downs, real downs, enough to colour ones view of life permanently, and some massive ups – more often than not short circuited by me – kind of pathological, something i couldnt help.
Nooo, this is not a sad confession, a litening of the soul, this is how to do it Bertie style.
So youre a real fuck up?
So what, who cares? At the end of the day – NO ONE. The only person that feels sorry for yourself is you and that doesent count, even if somebody else did, it wouldnt help.
So were alone.
There is only one thing to do – GET ON WITH IT!
Some take to meditation, yoga, exercise, running, mountaineering, me, i just gave in and let it roll all over me. Then i began to have ideas,
I tried them out, i stopped looking in the mirror (we all use a mirror to see how the world sees us – this shapes us, defines us) if you stop using the mirror you have a chance.
Who am i? what am i?
I am nothing, i am everything, ————- very hippy and by itself not very helpful but its a start.
Before long i was mirrorless, ooh yes i could occasionaly get glimpses, reflections, but the harsh reality of mirrors had gone, therefore i could do anything. And i did.
This led to the creation of outrageous spoons.
It started as a bit of a joke, then became more serious. I posted on youtube and lo and behold it got astonishing numbers of views and comments. Some were nasty, some were nice and some really outstanding. But what really got me was what happened when i was visited by a Belgian film maker and his son. The spoons are in sets, they tell a story, around an object, they discuss design and also have a laugh. The father couldnt put the sets together, but his son could automatically. What was going on?
It was explained to me by a brain researcher. I expected a long and complicated explanation but he just laughed. ” Its patterned learning” he said.
Took me a while to understand and to learn why i could, but many adults couldnt.
My childhood had been full of terror and mishandling, thus to this day i cannot do the most simple of school tasks, higher level, not a problem – to cope i had rejected those pressures, erased them and installed my own view of things, so in many ways i have a childs view of the world and its doings. Not clouded by others ideas, open to —— anything.
Many perceive this as a kind of naivety,(and take advantage) others realize what it is and we become good friends, very good friends.
This approach has led to other things. Things ive kept quiet about because of prejudices. Others disbelief has always been painful to me.
LUCK, easy problem solving, making things fit together. Life for me is often like a jigsaw puzzle. You feel you need this, you need that. You put your collection together and voila, a complex problem solved. Almost unawares.(sometimes years ahead)
This has led to a great deal of happiness and contentment. (deserved)
A thing is considered, meditated upon then left, no more to be done (you think) but the brain is working away. Slowly, like a cake mix, the ingredients have been assembled and one day are ready.
Pure magic, but something you can train yourself to do, and anyone can do it
it includes personal health as well. Listening to the body, its always telling you things.
Since ive managed to get rid of the results of an extremely painful road accident my health has improved by leaps and bounds. Took me 34 years.
Ive just learnt that someone has made a process out of it, ritualized.
This is fine, but the rush to go and learn something completely natural and pay massive amounts will be impressive.
I went on a trasendental meditation course many years. It cost an arm and a leg and came with a bagful of mumbojumbo and it worked. ive ditched the mumbo and just got on with it.
