Monthly Archives: December 2014

Taking charge.

We live in a pretty weird world. We think we are in charge when we are really not – we pride ourselves on our individuality while completely forgetting our similarities.

So now as I think over the last year and go into the new one I feel on top – right on top – probably enough to be slightly unbalanced.

 

 

For most of my earlier life I was under the control of others – father was strict, mother tried to be but gave up and listened to her “betters” as she had been brought up to do – right from her earliest years. Those betters really had no idea and the result for me was disaster – not so good for my sisters either.

What happened to me was that I became 2 people quite quickly, the real me was a total rebel – believing in very little from my “betters” believing muchly in myself (I had seen their pathetic lies) – the other was the little person who followed along doing what he was supposed to do, desperately clinging to the idea that those in charge were somehow superbeings who I could never in my wildest dreams emulate – unfortunately as life became more confused the 2 crossed – but that another time – I cannot but admit to a predilection to self sabotage – second to none but as I am entering the last phase of my life (60 now) I am finally taking charge in no uncertain terms.

I am thinking of the beatings I had at school, the effects – still with me – they really screwed me up – the feeling that I deserved it – that it was right – how evil I was – indeed wrong and how grateful I should be to those who tried to instil discipline in me by going so far as to beat me – but you see now I think back – there was always only 2 or 3 in the same position – the others got away with everything ( we were easy targets because of our weak parents)– so now I see that there is slowly beginning to appear information that there was a massive organized paedophile ring running in great Britain and it still does today – this ring was protected by police – secret service and more – top politicians have admitted they found it useful to have people in power they could blackmail – these are the names of people that were so far above me that I could only whisper their names – they were the establishment and now they appear to be ruthless shits.

 

Later in her life mother took on a powerful organization – won and sorted it out – virtually on her own. I am now doing something not that different but a whole lot bigger – to be blunt, im finally taking charge.

3 weeks ago I told Svanro I was finished there – wrote up a letter explaining why and that was that – even though the boss told me that nav and they had arranged for me to work there for another year.

I actually had the temerity to make a speech at the christmas dinner in a local restaurant, just one sentence – the bosses had congratulated themselves on their work by making speeches lasting well over an hour – everything was about them – so I simply said that this dinner was about the bosses, not about us. I actually felt quite angry as the place was supposed to be about helping us get back to work or providing work – this place was about us – not about the bosses, the product was US – so in fact not only was I quite correct – they knew it too.

So now this taretråling thing – it seems that the whole dirty business may be unwinding. This is a worldwide industry functioning on conning countries and environmental organizations worldwide using our gullibility to function.

 

7 counties under the leadership of a organization that arranges and advises them have announced they want taretråling in their area to stop until they are convinced that it is not damaging to the environment or wildlife – that is impossible.

Worse still the havsforskningsinstitut has just released a video saying they are going to research taretråling – the funny thing is the man doing the announcing actually detailed his research to us at the last taretråling meeting 2 years ago, it was complete then – that research was also done in 2002 – how do I know – I have the papers, so something is going on here – it looks like they are desperately trying to cover their asses and its not working. Politics in Norway is very softly spoken – it seems that real power comes in very softly worded statements –

To cap it all I hear its possible that other companies in the FMC group may be trying to distance themselves from what could possibly be a real disaster for FMC biopolymers and the industry. If the press take this up it would be a wise move.

 

I think it may be possible I am finally the person I was meant to be, or near enough.

 

It brings me back to a deep feeling of sadness – for me and for others who have been dealt similar cards – we are all too ready to slam the door shut without thinking of the person we are slamming it on. Perhaps because we can only judge others by what we see in ourselves.

 

Plus the thought of the others who like me had severe childhood problems not their fault – who desperately needed help but it was not forthcoming at the right time or place who are still trapped in the never ending hamster wheel of debt ridden self doubt placed there by others.

 

I understand the paedo business in the uk is finally being taken seriously by the state, its not going to go away no matter what they try to do – I dont see things in the bbc website on this but I do see them on NRK so I know its happening – Norway is beginning to wake up to the catastrophe awaiting us from the ruthless exploitation of our seaboard and I am feeling more aware and more in touch than ever before – yusss – next year may be full of disasters but it will be a year of change, positive change.

 

Self destructive revenge.

It is strange to think that mankind is so close to the “animal” world and yet not only does it not understand it, it denies it at every turn.

 

Throughout my life I have met and inter reacted with people who defy logic in pursuit of some totally illogical objective whose main aim is to hurt others. The excuse is sometimes very difficult to discern but it has to do with the basest of feelings and uncontrolled ——lust – yes I think that is perhaps the best word for it.

Unfortunately we normally associate this word with feelings towards some object or object of sexual desire, in this case it is a psychological quirk. Perhaps the fulfilment of this particular nasty will somehow ease the pain the person is feeling, or perhaps its not even pain something far deeper – justification.

In other words the subject of today is nut jobs.

 

I have a close relative who seems to be suffering from this particular sickness – but who has worked very well to cover up the occasional “lapse” into primordial “revenge” but is not always entirely successful.

But then the subject of this post is actually what some friends are suffering from their neighbors, or rather their neighbor.

 

They are a couple in their later years, he is nearly 80 and has recently been deathly ill but is recovering slowly – she is a very talented artist and is completely bewildered by the neighbor and his actions.

 

This man owns a farm, not excessively large, but it borders on their tiny bit of land and house. The road to their house is a small stone track going some 500 meters uphill from the main road to their house. He owns a farm at the main road end of the track – currently it is let to a group of Latvians who have great mounds of equipment lying around which they ship back to latvia from time to time.

Some time ago he decided to build a workshop next to the farm house and bought a number of woodworking machines at a school for a pittance because he also is a teacher. These machines have been left outside for 2 years with the workshop unbuilt – the main objective now is to build a warehouse next to my friends house. If it is beside the house they dont see it and it could not interfere with their lives, so he decided to build it in front, so they would see it every day.

To recap, the building is nearly 500 meters – up a small winding stone track instead of next to the main road or next to his farmhouse – it was built without planning permission – when objections were raised he employed a smart layer who eventually persuaded the council to let it be. As the man concerned with planning is a close friend of the couple he is not allowed to interfere.

 

So last year he started digging out the foundation for the workshop – unfortunately the place he has chosen has a very thin cover of soil over massive boulders on a steep slope – presumably it fits his requirements – we are looking at boulders perhaps up to 15 or even 20 feet square – in fact small mountains. So to carry on his work he has to use explosives – one of his relatives is an explosives man – unfortunately the work is not simple and requires massive amounts of explosives. I rather suspect that questions have been asked as to why he requires so much – so he has not been seen there recently – the neighbour has had to drill very long holes for the explosives , it has taken many days of work to make the holes and now he has found students to help with this work as presumably one can only use this type of hand held drill for a limited amount of time without getting stress related disorders such as white finger, or loss of feeling in hands and arms.

 

Here is a picture of his work to date.

 

 

a plus a building 2

Aplus A building1

 

 

 

 

 

So what is it that sets these people off – why do they become so determined to make others unhappy at such a great cost to themselves?

Ive seen it in relationships – at work, with professionals – even in the road with uncontrolled road rage.