Free speech – For many – just an idea.

As we go through life we are on a journey.

How that journey turns out depends on how we have treated the world.


If you have a code then live by it – I have one, it concerns happiness and doing no harm to others, in fact trying to make others happy too – however if trod always tread back so those that do know that so far is enough.  That way boundaries are established and rules to live our lives by and others know where the borders lie.


Always explore borders – find out what is true and not, find out for yourself.


However I like to think of myself as a scientist – for us, we need more than just words, we need to have seen and experienced or seen written reports supported by someone’s reputation.


Over the last few years ive been following the media often on facebook, ive been seriously distressed by the reactions of people ive had a great deal of respect for over the years.  The tendency to jump to conclusions which are based on “the kind of person I am” rather than fact is one.

The last one was then the Syrian government used chemical weapons and a great number of very well intentioned people believed them when they said they didnt. They just hadnt bothered to read the reports and followed the media that appealed.



Yes we dont like cbs news



This kind of reaction is probably why we now have an America governed by Trump – yes a great number of people are fed up with the status quo and want to think for themselves – they did by voting Trump and frankly if I could I would have too, simply because of that, no other reason.



We live in a world where free speech, actions and thought are paramount.



Naah, only if you follow the framework – ie socialist, capitalist, fascist – arrrrrg no not the last one – no one is allowed to have those kind of thoughts – and maybe even not capitalist – free love, swinging – ahh no – you can talk about it but as long as that is all – bdsm – something new and trendy – oops no, thats off the list as well – so where are we with free thought and speech?


Do we really????????


Actually no we dont and never have done – my truths, boundaries and beliefs are my own formed by many ears experience (listening) not those given to me – this is why I live on my own and have as little to do with my family as possible.




the eu vote in the uk

I have been following the uks vote on leaving the eu with great interest.

For a larger part of my life I have been involved with educators – people often highly educated and more often than not with university backgrounds and thinking.  Unfailingly their politics are to the left – they also declare how much they admire democracy.

Now that the vote has been taken and it has been decreed that the uk no longer wants to be a part of the eu I am not a little saddened to see that there is now a huge pressure to have another vote – this is actually very funny because it means that those who profess so powerfully to believe in democracy in fact dont.   If the vote is still no – will they want another??? until the “majority” get it right?


I have been to a great many meetings where I think bullshit is being spoken or facts ignored – I stand up and say so – it really upsets people – in fact over the years I have been considerably oppressed over this but now I am beginning to think that im right – in fact the turning point for me was when I took a group of very well intentioned people to court – they simply could not get their heads around the fact that I could possibly be right and they wrong.  One against so many.

I won hands down – and refused compensation because this was about me and how I felt about myself, not about gain on their terms.

If I had lost they would really have taken me to the cleaners.


When I was a child I lived in a world where adults ruled.

My father was strict – mother tried to be – I watched other children do things I was never allowed to.

At school in the uk I learnt about pain, about unfairness – in particular I can remember one twisted headmaster giving me endless lectures before he beat me.  I stood on his rich thick carpet thinking about how much of what he said was lies, pure and simple – how he expected me to believe him.  I had to nod in agreement from time to time – and say the right words.   Funnily enough I think he had a awareness of how disgusting I though he was – but that simply drove him on.

After the some of the worst of his excesses I lost it – this drove him to caution and gave me a lesson in manipulation ive never forgotten. Yes you can beat the shit out of your opponents if they are much stronger than you  – you just have to change the rules and do it in a way they never see coming. There are a few mottoes to remember along the way – the primary one being, revenge is a dish best eaten cold.

Many years later I learnt that this is the kind of world we live in – we are expected to nod and say the right words because we are good citizens – we are expected to follow the majority because the majority is always right.

That is a lie too.

As time went on I tried so hard to be part of the system – one of “everyone” but I could never forget the lies and their significance, it seemed to haunt me at every turn, changing my life – sometimes disastrously so – other times very much to my benefit.  I learnt to think for myself – to stand in a crowd listening to the speaker and to hear what he was not saying  – to look underneath – to find the hidden things – not very difficult to do if you are aware.   Im my own terms i have been extremely successful – the operative words being MY OWN TERMS. 


My life has been an unusual journey – discovering people who though they were free thinkers being very much part of the system they so despised but under another guise  – discovering people who were part of a very strict system but it gave them a freedom few posses, it even gave them far more free speech than the so called liberals. – again lies within lies.

Here in Norway we pride ourselves on our education – my education has been seriously lacking in structure but very fine in content – if i need to learn something i know how – I consider most education training.

It is interesting to go to meetings and make statements  which inter mesh with the education the leaders have received but at the same time deny it.   I am not entirely sure of my motives but I think it has to do with the lies that were promoted by the system I engaged with as a child.   My overt desire – to make people think for themselves – to be responsible for themselves outside the system, to use the system but not be owned by it – to stand up for whatever you think is right – that sounds easy, but is it??


Are my motives divorced from trying to gain revenge on the system that so deceived me?   That is actually a very amusing thought.

For me freedom is the right to have my own thoughts and actions unfettered by any external influence  – wow, heavy stuff and definitely not possible, is this a problem?   Not in any way because by believing the last 2 items – not possible and a problem I have made a start. 

No I do not make decisions after thinking is anything forcing me to do this – I make decisions based on my feelings – so someone is pressurising me to do something I examine my feelings about it first then I try to block all emotions and make a dispassionate decision – it is all to easy to be the eternal rebel and be wrong, I do not like being a rebel though I am.   Being aware is very much part of the cure.


I live outside the system at the same time as being very much part of and engaged in many issues – over the years my eccentricities have been a curse and a boon – they have given me pride and status but have made me alien to the cultures I see around me.





I think knives are beautiful – well made they can be like jewlery – i make knives.

Men dont ordinarily have  or wear jewlery, not something men do perhaps but we like to be seen as capable – so when circumstances arise it is nice to be able to zip open a recalcitrant package, cut a piece of bread (or chocolate) or even move a recalcitrant nut with a multitool knife.

Some knives are very beautiful – damascus metal for instance can be multicoloured and have the most amazing patterns in the metal – the skill and paitience required is phenominal.

damascus 3


damascus knife


In Norway most citizens have a sheaf knife of one kind or another – though carrying them in public is now illegal -

A knife is something everyone without exception – uses every day – every house has drawers full of knives – they are tools – sure some knives are made for fighting but that is not what we are talking about – you can kill someone with a screwdriver and yet it is not illegal to carry a screwdriver, unless the police decide it is a weapon of course – but i am trying to make a point here.


As an environmentalist i am fighing against a frightening enemy – the enemy is an american company – part of a giant corporation – it seems nearly the whole world is fighting against a american company of one kind or another – the word on most peoples lips these days is MONSANTO –  This company is responsible for a great deal of grief – but if you actually begin to look at the history of American companys there is a thread of profit above all else – a callus disregard for human life and the environment.

This article from NRK news is an indication  of something so fundamentally flawed in a society that it almost beggars belief.

Here in Norway there is a good deal of “knife crime”  in the uk the whole country is besotted with knives – severe penalties if found with one – foregin tourists astonished at having small pocket knives conviscated -  hobby fishermen not allowed to use knives – they have to deal with everything with scizzors or nail klippers (yes its true)

So here is the link from Nrk

Imagine children being targetted by the weapons industry – your neighbours child carrying a gun capable of killing you. Kill they do too – The north American gun death rate is extraordinary.

So why are so few people actually looking at the american phsyce and saying “we need to change something here?”




  My father left a letter as his last will – in it he said that he hoped that I would come back to Norway – I did.

    Since I have been here/back there have been a great many “connections,” small things that have happened on first sight, purely by chance.

   As my teachers were so at pains to point out – “every thing can be explained by science.”  I dont like science because it is used to imprison us – because of science we have this “office” technology so worshipped by the world that many things so basic to our existence in our journey over millennia have been cast aside – our children no longer talk to each other  – they sit together to use their mobile phones to talk to other people not there – frankly I know most of them dont have anyone to talk to – they just like to appear popular.

    Sci fi – flying saucers – conspiracy theories and more – now I really like them because they are free/wild – im building up to the idea of fate and connections.

  Just been watching a program on physics – a few days ago I was trolling through you tube when I found a video on a helicopter using a wrecking ball to knock stones from a mountain – it only had some 700 views I think – the program on physics used that very same wrecking ball – what does it mean???  Everything and nothing.

  I like to think that when im fishing I can connect – the first 2 or 3 stops on the boat are normally not very productive – then as time goes on I get more and more fish each place I stop – even though the fish finder appears to show no more – in fact ill bet that if I was to go back to the first fishing stop I would have a very good catch – “connection?”  Or just plain statistics – no I dont want that – I want mystery and strangeness and a feeling of being a part of.

At my earlier schools I felt always somehow cheated when the teacher went on about “science”  they seemed like gods, so wise and knowing – but I was soon to discover that was very definitely not true.  The system constantly lies, in fact some of the teachers constantly lied – we have to trust ourselves and how we do that is by being totally honest in everything – “why did I do that?”

I think several adventures are about to begin for me – something ive dreamt of for a long time – fate is pushing me as it always has done.

sci fi





Often the life we lead is not enough – we need something more.  Something to make us stand out give us energy.

I guess thats over simplifying it but theres the idea.


Perhaps its something to do with our primitive background – we need to be doing something important otherwise we feel there is something missing – for some that is too much.  Perhaps this is why we need to be doing something creative – originally it would have been foraging for food – as the centuries have passed and things have changed we feel incomplete unless we are in charge of our fate.


Recently trolling the net I came across this


I know quite a few people who have had “contact”  they all seem a little distracted and usually have had to have psychiatric help at one time or another but the big question is



I did some net searching on on of the “big names” in the star conference vip guest list.

Dr Rauni Kilde

Rauni-Leena Luukanen-Kilde


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navgation, serch

Rauni-Leena Luukanen-Kilde

Rauni-Leena Luukanen-Kilde in 2012.

Born (1939-11-15)15 November 1939 Värtsilä, Finland
Died 8 February 2015(2015-02-08) (aged 75) Vaasa, Finland
Occupation Physician, author
Spouse(s) Mauri Luukanen (1965–?) Sverre Kilde (1987–1996)

Rauni-Leena Tellervo Luukanen-Kilde née Valve[1] (15 November 1939 – 8 February 2015) was a Finnish physician who wrote and lectured on parapsychology, ufology and mind control.

Luukanen-Kilde was born in Värtsilä. She had to flee with her family in infancy during the Second World War and was raised in Helsinki.[2] She studied medicine at the universities of Oulu and Turku, graduating in 1967.[3] She was at one point the only medical practitioner at the hospital in Pelkosenniemi, performing dental and veterinary work as well.[4] In March 1975, she became a provincial medical officer in Rovaniemi, Lapland;[2] she became chief medical officer for Lapland.[4][5]

In 1982, as Rauni-Leena Luukanen, she published Kuolemaa ei ole (There Is No Death).[6] She had been interested in the paranormal since she was a teenager, but her interest in UFOs may date to a 1985 car accident which led to her retirement. She appeared as a featured speaker at UFO conferences, helped organize the first international conference on extraterrestrials in Finland[7] and authored books about UFOs, alien abductions, mind control and conspiracy theories. Luukanen-Kilde claimed to have been “rescued” from danger by extraterrestrials, and to have esoteric skills and knowledge as a result of her relationship with them.[8] She said that there was a secret exchange program between humans and aliens that was being deliberately suppressed by “powerful Western governments”, particularly the United States.[2] Luukanen-Kilde also said that secret military and intelligence agencies were practising mind control technology on the world population using cell phones and supercomputers and that a plot to kill most of the Earth’s population using the swine flu vaccine was being carried out by the WHO, Henry Kissinger and the Bilderberg Group.[9] Her article on cybernetic implants as a means of control is widely circulated.[3][10] She appears in the 1999 film Revelations: The End Times, Volume 2.

Luukanen-Kilde married a Norwegian diplomat in 1987[2] and moved to Norway in 1992.[11] He died in 1996. She died in Vaasa in February 2015 after a long illness, having returned to Finland shortly before.[3]

And came up with this – what a fascinating person -

a film on Vimeo showing her at a conference – what a shame she went on about Neighbours with mind control and some of the  other issues because at the heart of her talk is a  sensible and serious message something we should all be aware of  – but then you should see the video for yourself to understand

  Perhaps the big question is am i now “contaminated” by conspiracy theories and such like because i have written about the issue?   Suspect?

  During my travels in the uk i met up with a lovely guy in Cornwall – he baught some of my handwork and we became friends – he lived in a fantasy world and would suddenly blurt out how he worked for the american nsa – and was a undercover spy for ??? and so forth – in fact it was quite disturbing for me – i was later introduced to a friend of his

Matt Williams – a very quiet spoken and interesting man living near Devizes – in fact we also became friends – i sold him several pieces from auctions and he a computer to me which was from reclaimed parts – he had made friends with some unusual people and had helped them at great expense to himself – Matt made Crop circles.

    Matt told me about the conferences and how the crop circle world was divided into those who make them and those who make a living out of studying them – he also showed me a book by one of the foremost researchers and pointed out the ones heed made – he also told me that he and his coullegues had put her initials in a field next to the big crop circles she had put in her book but she chose not to use them – the article in a big uk daily

crop circles

Matt also told me about his coullegues and how researchers had come from all over the world to the conferences and how some had blatantly ignored this group in spite of clear evidence – others had ignored them but eventually gave in and listened to Matt and his friends – they had then shown how they had done their “craft”.  Strong sceptics and given in to reason and were happy with the results.

At the end of the day the idea of crop circles is that they are made by some unknown intellegence something from outer space perhaps – Matt himself said that he and his coullegues felt that what they were doing was very spiritual – that they had often seen unexplained things in the fields – that there was much more to this than just a bit of fun – that some crop circles were made in ways they could not explain and were a complete mistery.



   So back to  Rauni -Leena Luukanen -Kilde.  She was not a long  haired hippy – she was in fact the senior medical officer for lapland at one time – in fact a very accomplished and important person.

We should listen and watch her videos – sure ignore the mind control from neighbours and sattelites  but pay careful attention to the rest of her message .






Corruption is part of us – it is natural.

It is funny how things change – how things are seen in one place as sacrosanct and in another the reverse.


I seem to be watching a lot of films – the violence is utterly disturbing – Perhaps the influence of a culture that is rapidly becoming needful of spectacle, a bit like the Romans –

Funny thing about the Romans – the first Caesar was elected because democracy was not working – the state was utterly corrupt.  His job was to be so rich and powerful that he was incorruptible – it seemed to work for a while – perhaps that is the real answer.

In our world the most corrosive substance is that which gives us life – oxygen. However it also destroys metal – and many other things – to take that analogy one step further we need to constantly renew the things we have – every living thing dies – including us – some things are unchangeable.


Perhaps we would be wise to use this in everything we do – that our success corrupts but we need corruption – we need success otherwise we go in to a self defeating spiral – the only way to survive is to adapt – to change – this is something we are not wont to do because we do not feel comfortable with what we have ,we need stability and comfort.


It is interesting to follow the state of censorship – in the 70s and 80s it was illegal to own or sell videos showing bondage in the uk – however it was legal from time to time to show completely naked women and men indulging in sex – in the us there was heavy censorship of naked women and men and sex but bondage was ok.   Now it seems nearly everything is ok – every kind of porn is available on the internet for free – where is this leading?


One thing that is quite clear – the systems we have to protect us from the predations of the powerful viz business are often corrupt – it seems in every land – is this affecting our society, the way we think, the way we are – is this shit trickling down from above?

Frustration – balls

I guess that using a pc computer is a very steep learning curve – particurly if you use it for something more than just doodlin the day away.

Sooo i finally did something foolish and invested in a much bigger computer for editing videos – for me a lot of money.  As everywhere was advertising lenovo i decided to give them a go -  The puter seemed fine initially but as time went by things didnt work quite so well.

For instance writing discs took something like 30 minutes – my last computer 7.   So i took out lenovos disc writing program to try and get something a bit faster – nope thats a lie – i got very angry with this “fine ” useless program and decided to delete it.  Today my pal Johan came for a few updates and we tried downloading some important film onto a sony program installed there – nope just didnt want to do it.  Tried twice more, took the camera card out and it appeared to read it then stopped – mY GOD what a load of crock.

Used my old puter and that worked.  Tried the new one again and a popup appeared – my mc afee antivirus has just expired and i was in serious danger of exploding if i didnt renew – THAT CAN GO THINKS I – Removed the entire program and all – sooooo hmm, try downloading the video files again – my god very fast – try reading the card – bang done – shiiiiit so mcafee anti virus actually jiggers with your puter so you pay for updates – noooo cant be true – big companies dont behave like that do they??

  Ive been checking the net – there are a fantastic number of people out there who are really unhappy with mcafee – check out pc world.  So im really pleased with myself – but boy this gives business such a bad name – so much in our world is based on trust – how unpleasant to go around thinking that some trusted is going to rip you off and its going to cost and cost and cost.


Today is my 6th day without email.

Now why should I bother to make a posting about something so trivial?


I do not use outlook on the computer for my email as ive found that emails can corrupt your computer – so I go to the source – in this case Telenor, Norway,s biggest provider of internet and similar.


Sometimes I draw a blank when It comes to puters – I get so stressed by apparently simple tasks that I do anything to avoid them – however when I get stuck in I always find a resolution.


Ive been using the same password for the mail for about 2 years now – to change it before was tedious to say the least as I had the operator do it for me.


So the password stopped working – now I have to try – should be easy enough – nope, you need two passwords – the normal change my password is easy enough but the other – there are 3 ways to change your password the site says one takes several days by post, the other by phone didnt work even though I tried it some 5 times using different combinations – the last one – sure easy enough to change the first password but why should you now log in – ok so more help – call to helpline no 6 – ahh I need to log in to change the other password – silly, not something one would do automatically.

Found the little place and it says you have to wait up to 30 minutes – didnt work – call no 7

that didnt work either – call no 8 next day

try the last new password you got” My god it worked

got into my mail and started but when I tried the same again later – it didnt work.




So I started analysing my feelings and the whys and wherefores – why should I be angry with something that is not my fault – a slow chuckle – yes this is actually very funny because it is not my fault at all – so it is now a game.

How long can I carry on before they snap and either allow me access or tell me to piss off.


In fact this is good for me – I have a habit of being short with people who I think are wasting my time – I need to chill and relax and stop that kind of thing – also with myself – stop being short with myself – that is quite powerful. So thanks Telenor.






Open mindedness

Open mindedness.

It is quite funny in many ways to meet people who advertise their open mindedness by announcing they are socialists.
The nazi party called themselves the nationalist socialist party –

Isnt it a part of being open minded to support the part of the political world that stands for peoples rights above all else?
The strange thing was the number of people who I initially admired who seemed to be so open minded who proudly announced at any opportunity how the left stood up for peoples rights and how the left was for democracy – bringing me to mind Orwells – “all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.”

There are so many truisms in our world today – by truisms I mean statements made – forgotten then suddenly there they are and its true – such as there are so few police that in any situation where there could be a public backlash they instantly withdraw.
Brings to mind a farmer in the uk who came home to his farmyard to find a group of travellers in his yard emptying his diesel tank – he parked his car across the entrance and called the police – after a few minutes the leader of the group came up to him and said that if he didnt move his vehicle and let them go he would ram his car out of the way – he would get no insurance for repairs  – after another 10 minutes it was clear the police were not coming so he let them go – if I remember rightly it was 2 hours before they turned up.

How does this impact on our society, the way we think?

Most animals are group animals – that is they move around in flocks or groups and have the kind of behaviour associated with that particular specis – we identify with this easily – which is why it is very difficult for any of us to avoid a riot for instance (check it out)  a little example.
I am sure that there would also be an easy explanation for why I was able to pick up a injured wild badger and take him home without injury to myself – Titus as he was later named was a very special animal.
Other injured badgers I have come across have been  terrifying in their aggression, but not him – so what made him so special?

Is it the same with us – mankind – most of us follow the herd in behaviour and manner – but every so often there are those who are clearly different – is this because we think differently?
Perhaps in my case it is because the truth has not come from those who appeared to speak the truth but from surprising places – I have learnt to find the truth for myself – it is a complex and difficult process – it is hard to change ones behaviour from the desired to the intelligent – to hide what one feels when one knows the truth is otherwise.  To nod the head in acceptance of someone’s apparent wisdom when one knows it is flawed.

To understand this process is a kind of freedom – to live ones life in accordance with ones beliefs is also to further this freedom but to do this properly those beliefs must be constantly questioned.
To climb the ladder by self doubt.   As if there is an end to this process.

So the new year approaches – I have made all kinds of resolutions – (many of which I already regret) but 1 in 10 is far better than none.
There is no doubt I need to change my attitude – my system and approach – it will be interesting to see how successful I can be.


As time goes by i am reminded from time to time about how things were when i was a child and indeed much older but still under the sway of others – fortunately i have proof – i kept diaries – in fact since 1963.  Today i read about a case in the norwegian media of a girl who apparently was so bullied at her various schools it either killed her or she killed herself.

People say you should stand up to bullies give them a taste – i did – unfortunately the authorities realized that for me it was not a game – that i had misunderstood the purpose of bullying.  By launching serious attacks on my tormentors i was not playing the game. Would i please leave.


There are still a few here and there who like to give it a go but i seem to have learnt the cunning of a skunk – the last who tried is a local man but he now cant bear to look me in the face – am i crowing about it – no straight facts – i actually like the man but he needs to understand, he also needs to leave me alone – i think he has the message.

I have now walked away from my immediate family too as they seem to like to remind me of my personality flaws a little too often  – the new years resoloution is DROP IT – MENTION THOSE TERRIBLE THINGS NO MORE.  FREEDOM.